Batman v Superman… Why?
Joe Rogan nailed my thoughts exactly...
I don't normally let the plot lines of comic book movies get to me, but this batman vs superman movie might just be the dumbest fucking rivalry ever. I see the ads for this shit and I can't stop myself from getting pissed off. Let's just go over the "facts" quickly: Superman is an alien that is bulletproof, he can melt metal with laser beams that shoot out of his eyes, he can see through walls with x-ray vision, and he can fly so fast he can make the earth spin backwards and reverse time. And Batman? Batman is just a rich guy. He's essentially the ultimate trust fund do-gooder; A billionaire with a live-in man servant, and his crime fighting side kick is a grown man with no discernible source of income that he calls "boy wonder". Also, he has no fucking excuse to call himself batman. At least super man is actually a "super" man, and spider man's excuse is that he was bitten by a radio active spider and given amazing super powers, but batman? He just likes bats. He dresses up like a weirdo and uses his money to get some cool gadgets that he uses to protect the people of Gotham from criminals, which for some reason are almost exclusively white guys. The Vegas odds on this fight would be more lopsided than if a gorilla was fighting a baby, but that's not going to stop them from stuffing this stupid idea into a 2 hour movie that I'm sure I'll go see just hoping it sucks hard enough for me to get a bit out of it. I think what pisses me off more than anything is that I'm a grown ass man and this is something I care about. #Imadork
That sums up my thoughts perfectly and I thought I was the only one. I get the love of superheroes although I don’t really get into the genre. How many times do we need to re-make Spider-man? Then all of a sudden people like Ant-Man? ANT-MAN!? Really, what the crap is that about? A miniature tiny little super-hero? Why the hell would I want to see that? How can I get into that? That same reason keeps me from getting into Game of Thrones. Really, that’s the guy I’m supposed to fear? Nope, not happening.
Now we are entering a new phase of hero movies. The phase where, for some reason, they all have to fight each other. Captain America and Iron Man, Superman and Batman. If you want to see that then fine but don’t tell me for a second that Superman vs Batman shouldn’t be a 5 second movie with 3 seconds of that devoted to credits.
Like Rogan said, (when I read his post I read it in his screaming UFC voice when someone gets knocked out) this is SUPERMAN. He can REVERSE THE ROTATION OF THE FREAKING EARTH and I’m supposed to believe that a guy with a rope can beat him. He can shoot lasers out of his eyes, he can lift anything, he can fly! The other guy has money. Superman could have money too, you know how? By taking all of Batman’s money whenever the hell he wanted too.
My favourite part of the Rogan post was all the clowns that busted his balls for it. I understand the need to come up with some sort of original content but this is an all powerful being from a different planet against a guy that got a nice little inheritance from his parents. I mean, right there, wouldn’t that piss off Superman and give him the motivation he needs to whoop ass?
“Oh you got a lot of money from your parents to live the rest of your life in total luxury? Neat… My parents sent me through space as a BABY to a new planet where I had to live by myself in an ice castle. Cool story bro.”
It’s like putting me in a fight against that little dude from Game of Thrones. Yeah, I just compared myself to Superman.